Oh my god Em, you cant just ask people why they don't have abs! (I really hope you all got that joke, or this could be awkward). Yet I ask myself this question on a regular basis. I will make no secret of the fact that a six pack is something I would love to possess. Like sports cars, jewellery, and designer handbags, it's become somewhat of a status symbol in the health and fitness community. I have a friend who has River Island bags but desperately wants a Louis Vuitton; I have a toned stomach, but want my abs to pop. It indicates to the entire world (well, when you wear a crop top) the extent of your dedication, hard work, and self-discipline. Or does it? And why the hell do I need the rest of the world to know about my dedication, hard work, and self discipline?
Here is the danger of my constantly reaching for a six pack: I forget what I already have. I forget that I've toned up my legs and arms and butt beyond recognition. More importantly, I forget the actions I can now perform that allow me to have made those changes: I've increased the weight I can lift, my stamina has improved, I can now do a chaturanga, I can do a handful of press ups at one time, I have nearly completed the 30 days of yoga challenge, I can complete a spinning class dripping in sweat but feeling less like I'm about to pass out. And even if those abdominal muscles aren't popping out left right and centre, I have one powerful, Pilates formed core. Although abs may indicate hours spent honing your body to something the Ancient Greeks would have loved to replicate in marble, I put effort into my body too. I workout 5-6 days per week, for 30 minutes or more, I walk pretty much everywhere, I eat a balanced diet rich in fruits and vegetables, and 90% cooked completely from scratch.
One thing that prevents me from forming said six pack is probably my refusal to throw myself into it completely. I have a personality that becomes obsessive regarding my body pretty easily. As a result, I refuse to follow a certain diet (be it paleo, clean, raw till 4), or certain instagram accounts posting "fitspo" that seems more like it promotes torture. I am all for challenging yourself, pushing yourself to achieve new things- but some of the things I see have the same vein as "thinspo". Here's my point: health and fitness is a mental thing as well. Is it healthy to worry about missing a workout, or dwelling on something you ate two days ago that "wasn't clean"/"didn't fit my macros"? No. It isn't. Is it something I struggle with? Yes, it is. Recently I went on a day trip that involved getting up at 6am, following a waitressing trial shift that ended at 10:30pm the previous evening, and then arriving home at 11pm. I arrived home at 11pm post day trip too. I didn't workout that day. I spend most of the day trying to prevent my mind whining about how I could have gotten up at 5am, or even workout when I got in. I ate ice cream, and my mind just went "Well, now we're f***ked.". It didn't help that Magnums don't taste as good as they used to. But guess what? One day doesn't make that much of a difference. And I had the best day. It was worth the not working out. Which brings me to this...
Health and fitness should be enjoyable. I enjoy working out. Pilates makes me feel beautiful, lifting my dumbbells makes me feel strong, yoga makes me feel chilled out, I will never stop hating many forms of cardio- but I feel like I've achieved something when I complete it. If I was spending 2 hours in a gym in search of a particular physique, would I still enjoy working out? No. If I was pushing myself to the point of exhaustion? No. I adore my veggies, nut butters, fish, and salads- but never eating brownies, burgers, or sweet potato fries? Always trying to eat "perfectly"? That's no life. Some days I might need a lie in, or want to sing along to Hairspray from my couch wrapped in a blanket, or to eat a brownie, or maybe I want to party until 4am. Some days I really feel the fitness vibe, I'm awake at 6:30am buzzing to workout, and I desperately want a salad with mackerel and sweet potato and freshly grilled veggies. Health and fitness should contribute towards happiness, not be a stumbling block. An article that really helped me to understand this was one by Nia Shanks, which talks about letting go of perfection and finding a grey area with regards to binge eating. You can read it here: http://www.niashanks.com/20-tips-binge-eating/. She introduced me to the Voltaire quote that has become one of my favourites: "Perfect is the enemy of good". I am a perfectionist: it allows me to excel in academic practices, and to keep my room tidy. It can also be a pain in the arse when it comes to health and fitness.
So, your health and fitness journey should be just that: a journey. It should be about becoming happy with yourself and in your own skin and life. Yes, push yourself, and yes, do work towards being healthy. BUT! Don't tie your happiness to a certain appearance orientated goal, because I can guarantee that once you reach it that goal will shift. Think of your health as a mental, emotional, and physical thing, and try not to sacrifice one for another. I can be way too hard on myself regarding my physical health, and can neglect giving my body a much needed break- but am gradually coming around to focusing on how fitness makes me feel. Maybe one day I will have a six pack, but right now I'm aiming to achieve actions, such as being able to perform a crow pose, and not a certain aesthetic- e.g. the toned arms and abs that come with a crow pose. Because being able to balance on my hands, hovering with my feet up next to my elbows, is a way cooler party trick than pulling up my top to reveal abs...Labels: appearance, balance, body confidence, body love, emotional health, fitness, happiness, Health, mental health, six pack